Training for Campus Ministry

quiet heart/chaotic world

Silence means rest, rest of the body and mind, in which we become available for God...
Is it so amazing that we are so often tired and exhausted, trying to be masters of ourselves, wanting to grasp the ultimate meaning of our existence, struggling with our identity?
Silence is that moment in which we not only stop the discussion with others but also the inner discussions with ourselves, in which we can breathe freely and accept our identity as a gift. 'Not I live, but He lives in me'....Without silence we will lose our center and become victims of the many who constantly demand our attention.
--from "Training for Campus Ministry" by Henri Nouwen.

I about choked on my coffee when I saw the name of the article out of Psychology Today back in 1969 that this piece from Nouwen comes from.  I have spent my entire adult life in campus ministry, and so this speaks to my condition.
This is essentially the work of a campus minister, and the work of all of us who seek to be God-bearers in the world.
Nouwen's world in 1969 was quite a bit different than today in 2011.  However, some things remain the same. The search for a bit of silence and solitude, for the work of resting in the "I AM" that is beyond our "i am" is the spiritual work of our time.
These are the questions that I wrestle with daily with myself and with others:  who am I? why am I here?  how can I master and control the compulsions and addictions and pain of my life?
And to this, we have an answer: listening at the feet of Jesus for a creative work that happens inside of us that we do not own or control.  Making ourselves available to the Lifespring, the Source, the One who IS and resting in that.  Surrendering our need to figure it all out and listening to Jesus who lives in us.

Practically, this means for today that I carry silence in my soul.  I will seek to resist the urgent need to figure it out--and simply let the insistent questions fall through my fingers as I rest in the "I AM".  Jesus will do and has done his creative work in me.  I am changing, growing--the mark of the Spirit is upon me, and Christ will bring it to completion (not me).  In Jesus, I will live in the Center that is more than me.