Lent #13: don't be afraid

Breathe:  John 6:20
I am the One. Don't be afraid.

I listen to people talk about their fears and I reflect on my own.  Our fears are deeply a part of us, formed from circumstance, personality, experience, and the reality of being human and finite beings.  Many of us share the same fears: rejection, loneliness, failure, insecurity of health or finances or relationships.

Most times we hold our fears at bay. But under the perfect storm, we are amazed at how fear tears through us, uprooting our center and making us want to hide from the world or from ourselves. When we are afraid, we want to hide, when most often what we need is to be found.

One of my fears is of exclusion--a form of rejection.  I am fearful of being excluded--of not being a part, of not being significant enough to be invited in (whether it's into a friendship, an event, or a ministry). When the sea is calm, I do not recognize this fear in my life.  But when the boat is rocked, the fear of exclusion begins to wash over me.  Perhaps I am not important or not significant enough.  Maybe I am not needed or not valued or not gifted.

One time last summer this fear of exclusion was so strong that I felt great loss.  I began to talk about this fear with a few of my friends, and as I did, it was as if Jesus spoke to the storm "Be calm" and the waves retreated and the water grew still.  The situation did not change, but the inner storm had receeded. This came through being found by my friends and being willing to name my fear (although it made me feel very petty and small).

Hannah Whitall Smith says: "The reality of [the spiritual] life isn't at all dependent upon your emotional state, but depends entirely upon your keeping you in the center of God's will."
Our emotions are sign-posts to us, but are not the same as who we are.  Our life is found in Christ, who centers us because he is "the One". What a relief that we are not the One.  We do not center ourselves or stop our own storms.  Our fearful feelings do not determine the reality of our spiritual life.

One way that we can move out of our fears and into Christ is by being found by our friends: naming our fears and allowing those feelings to be a vessel of grace through others to us.
With open ears, I hear the fears of those around me--knowing that they are mine as well.  I am amazed at how a conversation of someone else naming their fear releases the peace of Christ in me!