Lord, You're my lover,
my desire,
my clear and flowing fountain,
and my sun.
You are the One
who teaches me
by loving me
unconditionally
just how I am to love.
And I?
I am Your reflection.
--Mechthild of Magdeburg, from The Flowing Light of the Godhead
Unconditional love. How difficult this is--we love each other on condition. Mostly that condition is about how the person we love makes us feel about ourselves. When we love someone, we want to feel accepted, cherished, regarded, remembered, delighted, and trusted in that love. When we love someone and it makes us feel disregarded, hurt, lonely, misunderstood, forgotten...then we build conditions into our love. We withhold love because we feel resentful or that we are being used.
There is a place for healthy boundaries and for not giving away our hearts to those who trample on them. We do have to love ourselves through the love of God at the core of ourselves, or we will not have Real love to give away, but instead be using how we love others as a way of completing ourselves.
Unconditional love is love that can only come from God. It is a reflection of God's love for us. It is a love that gives without keeping track, without worrying about what the other person will think. This love gives freely because the source of this love is not dependent on the response of the beloved.
When we are rooted in God's love and receive love from God, we are able to love ourselves without condition. And then are able to love others unconditionally.
